Final Reflection on Learning (Blog Post #4)

After taking ES2007S “Professional Communication: Principles and Practices”, I would declare it as the most useful module I have taken in university so far. I have multiple takeaways from the module that I would like to share with my readers.

Though I have become more proficient through the various areas of communication skills, I felt that I gained the most in the area of tackling interviews. Prior to the mock interview, I had an interview with the Dean of Science for an opportunity to take part in the Student Exchange Programme (SEP). My interview was successful, as I was accepted for the SEP. However, one must not underestimate the amount of hard work it takes to prepare for an interview. I spent a week preparing for the interview, analyzing all possible questions that might appear. Unfortunately, the scenario for my mock interview for ES2007S was the direct opposite of my SEP interview. I came unprepared for the mock interview because I did not know my group was getting interviewed during that particular lesson. Though I panicked initially, I eventually decided to make the best use of the mock interview, and to experience attending an interview without any prior preparation. In the end, I did not fare so well. I could not give detailed and comprehensive answers to the questions the interviewers posed. This was because I had to think on the spot and ended up stumbling over my own words. This has reinforced my understanding that preparation is key when it comes to interviews. Though we are assessed on how we perform at the interview, it takes hours of hidden hard work in order to portray a confident self-image, and thus, aid us in accomplishing a successful interview.

Through the mock interview experience, I also realized that non-verbal cues play an important role. Non-verbal cues include posture, gesture, eye contact and facial expression. During the mock interview, I was unaware of myself swaying my legs back and forth till the observers pointed it out. Thus, the interviewers might have interpreted me as being nervous and unconfident. In his book Silent Messages, Albert Mehrabian discusses about his research on non-verbal communication. He attributes the success of a presentation to be 7% content spoken, and 93% non-verbal cues. Though this number might be a misinterpretation, I believe that his research contains an element of truth. The non-verbal cues we give off are as much, if not more important than the verbal cues. In the case when our verbal cues do not match our non-verbal cues, the other party would be more inclined to believe the non-verbal cues. Since the mock interview experience, I became more aware of the non-verbal cues that I give off. I believe that our non-verbal cues show our attitude, interest and respect for the person we are communicating with. Thus, it plays an integral role in effective communication.

A challenge I faced throughout this module was that I was uncertain of how to brand myself. This is largely because I was unsure of the career path I would like to pursue. Hence, this was a stumbling block during the time when the class learnt about cover letter and mock interviews. Firstly, I was uncertain regarding the type of company I should write to for my cover letter. Secondly, I did not know how to portray myself during the mock interview. I was unaware of my strengths that would value add to the company I was applying for. This was partly why I could not answer the interviewers’ questions. Though preparation is key in boosting our confidence during interviews, it is also crucial for us to be aware of our own personal branding. This realisation has encouraged me to seek advice from my faculty’s career advisors to enquire about future job prospects. Thus, an indirect takeaway for this module was that I am one step closer to discovering what career path I want to pursue in future. Hence, taking ES2007S was like a journey of self-discovery.

In conclusion, after taking ES2007S, I have learnt how to communicate effectively with people through various platforms, such as business letters, emails and memo writing. It has also given me the necessary expertise to brand myself through my resume and cover letter when I start looking for a job next year. The skills acquired through this module would also significantly accelerate my preparation process for any presentation or interview. I am now more confident of being a professional communicator in the workplace. I must remind myself to constantly practice and review the skills I have learnt through ES2007S so that I will never ever forget them.

Thank you all for being nice to me as your classmates. I really enjoyed the time getting to know so many friends in the class. Have a great learning experience for the rest of your years in NUS. I hope to see you all around NUS someday! And for those graduating, happy graduation! And lastly, thank you Madam Fazilah for being so patience and imparting your knowledge to us! :)

Reflection on Team-based Research Project Proposal (Blog Post #3)

I believe what distinguishes a successful project from a mediocre project is the conviction of the project members for the cause of the project. From the start, my teammates and I shared the same deep convictions about happiness in Singapore. Thus, we were able to work on the project effectively. 

A triumph for my team was that we had the foresight to start on the project proposal during recess week. It was the period of time when the workload was not overwhelming, thus, we had ample time to carry out detailed market research and evaluation. This has enabled me to understand the importance of starting a project as soon as it is assigned. It is crucial to set a timeline for the project, and to pace out the different phases over the given time limit for the project. This ensures that the team does not procrastinate and rush through the project at the last minute. I am sure this principle applies for both the workplace and our studies in university. In order to achieve excellence in our undertakings, we must be conscientious of the time taken for the project.

Though my team was consistent in the project proposal, the crunch time came during the preparation for oral presentation. The oral presentation was slated towards the end of the semester, when all of us were struggling due to the intense workload from all the modules. In addition, we had to juggle our workload with our commitment to our co-curricular activities. Thus, at this stage of the project, my team was not very efficient in work allocation. We were comparatively slower in our progress during the last stage of our project. Thankfully, my team pushed through, and we managed to finalise the presentation slides a day before the presentation. This gave us the opportunity to rehearse our presentation once through before the actual presentation.

This is a learning point here. In the working world, a team of professionals would manage a project. However, the people comprising the team would have other projects and responsibilities on hand. In this case, there are team members who might regard the project with lesser commitment as compared to their other projects on hand. It takes years of experience to learn how to split up time effectively among the different projects on hand.

Throughout the entire duration of the project, my group was committed enough to meet up for 3 face-to-face meetings, despite our busy schedules. However, most of the time, our group communicated through social networking platforms, such as Whatsapp and the chat function on Google drive. A triumph of my team is that we are very efficient and we ensure that our online discussions are productive. Thus, though we could not meet up face-to-face on several occasions, we were able to keep track of our project through online discussions. The use of advanced technology has helped facilitate our project process.

However, this is not realistic for project discussions at the workplace. In the university, the people that makes up the team come from different faculties with different timetables. It would be hard to accommodate to everyone’s schedule to have a meet up face-to-face. Thus, the team would have to rely on online platforms for group discussions. On the other hand, at the workplace, the people that make up the team would come from the same company. Thus, it would be easier to arrange face-to-face meetings. In addition, it is more formal in the workplace setting. Any communication that occurs outside meetings would be through emails or memos instead of messaging on social networks. Thus, the communication that occurs at the university is not a realistic portrayal of that of the workplace.

A possible improvement for my team’s project was the preparation of answers to the possible questions that could come up during the question and answer (QnA) session. Though my team came up with a few possible questions, we were overwhelmed by the questions that were brought up. Our classmates addressed limitations of our project that we have not thought of. Sometimes, we did not have a good response to some of the questions. This serves as a good reminder for my group and I to prepare well for future QnA sessions so that we would be able to present our proposal with greater clarity. This would ensure that all loopholes of our proposal would be thoroughly thought through.

All in all, our efforts for the project paid off when Madam Fazilah commended my team for being united in the delivery of our presentation. In addition, our classmates gave positive feedback on our project, which served as an encouragement for my team. Working on the project as a team was a really meaningful and memorable experience for me. Through this project, I had my first formal oral presentation in university. Thus, I worked really hard to prepare for the presentation. However, one of the greatest takeaways is getting to know my teammates as friends. This gave me the opportunity to hear about their unique experiences in NUS. Here, I want to express my thanks to all the group members I have worked with. I would be looking forward to more group projects in future :)

Fostering Intercultural Communication (Blog Post #2)

Noyak Seats on the Korean Subway

To me, the key in fostering effective intercultural communications is to be sensitive to the culture that one is exposed to. It is important to be aware that we are ambassadors of our home country. When our actions show that we are not sensitive to foreign cultures, this would lead to intercultural misunderstandings. When talking about culture in everyday conversation, the topic usually includes food, heritage and festivals. However, through the peer teaching session, I realised that culture is multifaceted. One aspect of culture that caught my attention is social etiquette. I would like to share a memorable personal experience that taught me the importance of being sensitive to the social etiquette of a foreign culture. 

During the summer break of 2013, my friends and I flew over to Seoul, South Korea for a getaway trip. Unlike Singapore, Seoul is enormous. Travelling from one part of the city to another could take up to an hour on the Seoul subway. On the second day there, after a day’s worth of activities, my friends and I took the subway back to the station where our apartment was located at. However, our destination was more than a 30 minutes ride away. Since we have been walking the entire day, we were tired and desperately needed to sit down to rest. Unfortunately, all of the seats were taken up, expect for the three seats located at every four corners of the subway compartment. 

My friends and I were aware that those seats were similar to the priority seats on the Singapore MRT. Thus, we were cautious of sitting there. However, after a few stops, no elderly boarded the subway, and hence, we decided to sit at the priority seats. We had the mindset of “I will just get up when someone who needs this seat comes.” Unfortunately, as soon as we sat on the seats, we received a few death stares from the locals in the same subway compartment as us. The rest of the journey back to our destination was very uncomfortable. My friends and I were confused at the situation. Clearly, there was nobody around who needed those seats, yet the locals were displeased with our actions.

Upon reaching our apartment, I immediately researched on Seoul subway etiquette. It turns out that the seats my friends and I were sitting on are called Noyak seats, a subway version of the handicapped parking lot. While it may be common for Singaporeans to sit on the priority seat unless someone who needs this seat comes along, this is not the case for Korea. The seats are strictly reserved for the elderly, pregnant women, the disabled and parents accompanying young children. It is proper etiquette to leave those seats unoccupied, unless you fall into the category of people who are allowed to sit on the Noyak seats. Even when the subways are exceptionally crowded, the locals would avoid sitting there. This ensures that the people who really need those seats would be able to sit down readily. Furthermore, I have read numerous accounts of exhausted students and middle aged working adults being chased off the Noyak seats. In extreme cases, abusive comments would be hurled at people sitting at those seats. This is because the Koreans value courtesy and respect for the elderly. Thus, the act of sitting at the Noyak seats would be seen as an act of disrespect for the elderly. The strict enforcement of the seats would ensure that the rights of the minority are protected. 

It was a really embarrassing experience brought about by my own ignorance. Through my actions, I have unintentionally offended the locals, and thus, I felt really bad about it. However, I am grateful that they did not chase us off the seats or scold us. The locals displayed empathy towards the foreigners (us) by not scolding or chasing us away. However, the locals who were on the same subway compartment as my friends and I might have interpreted our actions as being disrespectful. In the worst case scenario, they would have formed an opinion about Singaporeans being disrespectful. This would be a hindrance in establishing effective intercultural relationships with any future Singaporeans they might meet. 

In conclusion, one of the fundamentals of effective communication is empathy. In the case of intercultural communication, empathy could be practiced by being sensitive to the social etiquettes of other cultures. This means that we have to be respectful and mindful of other cultures. Being a foreigner does not give me the right to disregard the culture of the country I am exposed to. In addition, displaying effective intercultural communication by being sensitive to other cultures is a win-win situation for both parties involved. When we display sensitivity to the other cultures, we would be treated with kindness and respect in return. I hope you have enjoyed reading about my experience :)

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict (Blog Post #1)

Type: Conflict with a best friend

People Involved: Shure and I

Background Story/Context: It happened when I was in secondary 2 in 2007. It was the start of a new school year, and we were being introduced to our new classes. I did not know anybody in the class, but after a few weeks together, I made a few close friends. There was a particular friend, Shure, whom I became best friends with. We would talk on MSN messenger for hours after school everyday. One day, her sister started talking to me over MSN messenger using Shure’s account. She resembled Shure, a friend who is trustworthy and enjoyable to talk to. In addition, she was like an older sister to me, providing me with advice on issues I encounter in school. Eventually, she added me on MSN messenger with her account, and I began talking to her more than I talked to my friend. There were multiple times I suggested having a meal together with Shure. However, she declined whenever I brought up that idea, saying that Shure and her were on bad terms. 

How It Happened/Main Problem: A year later, a common friend of Shure and I told me that Shure’s sister whom I have been talking to all along was not real. All along, it was Shure who created another account to talk to me. It was her attempt in getting to know me better. When I found out the truth, I confronted Shure about how I felt.

How I felt: The conflict caused me feelings of shock, grief and disappointment. Though Shure meant no ill intention, she deceived me by pretending to be someone else. I had come to trust her as a confidant and a close friend, however, she betrayed my trust. I began to wonder whether all that time and effort spent on the friendship was wasted. I was on the verge of giving up our friendship, and continue wallowing in my misery. However, I believe that all friendships in my life are divine appointments from God, and I do not want to lose such a dear friend. I began self-reflecting on my own emotions, and why I was so affected. I also tried to identify with the feelings of Shure, and the motivation behind what she did.

How Shure felt: When Shure first got to know me at the start of the school year, she was happy she found a close friend she could identify with. Hence, she wanted to get to know me better. However, there were questions about my life that she dared not ask me. She felt that by approaching me as an older, mature person, I would be more comfortable to open up. Over time, she started feeling guilty and had always wanted to tell me the truth. However, fear of losing the friendship stopped her from telling the truth.

How We Resolved the Conflict: Shure sent me a letter of apology, explaining why she did what she did. To me, it was a beautiful letter. She did not put up any false fronts and she was honest with her emotions. In addition, her train of thoughts showed maturity. She displayed emotional intelligence, by not allowing her emotions to take control of her actions and words. I could see that this conflict made her into a stronger person, and a better friend. We did not speak for a week after the conflict, but I eventually accepted her apology and forgave her. After the conflict, we both agreed that friendship is built on mutual trust, and that we would always be honest with each other. Shure’s courage in being honest with her emotions was a clear reflection on her commitment in restoring the friendship, even though it meant putting down her pride.

Reflections: Being honest with our emotions, is the first step, and the bravest one in resolving interpersonal conflict. For both Shure and I, it was easier to not face the truth. Denial would have made life easier to cope with. We could have treated the whole incident as a nightmare and simply forget about it. However, nightmares can be recurrent, and unless we solve the problem, nightmares can haunt us forever. In recovery from disappointment, honesty is the best policy. When Shure and I were honest with each other, we forgave each other and we have both grown - grown in character and grown closer to each other. An important lesson that came out of the conflict was that, from forgiving, comes joy and peace. Sometimes, we may not understand the reasons for the pain and experiences we go through. However, I was glad I went through this painful experience. I want to remember all these experiences so that I can share it with others, and help them help themselves through resolving similar interpersonal conflicts. I

In addition, since then, I began to realise the importance of face to face communication. Though we might become closer to our friends through social networks, it still can't compare to real life interactions. Talking with friends over a simple meal is better than talking over a computer screen and wifi network. 

My Dear Friends,

Friendship is a gift from heaven. But, we are all humans. We conflict with one another. The identity of a hero does not lie in the heart, but in the choice to be a part of a community. A hero is someone who continually plugs into the source of power - friendship and family. This is what inspires continued heroism in each of us. This is where we derive our power from. This is what strengthens our dreams and aspirations. Our fight is not against the harsh reality or the skepticism of the world, but against our own pride of wanting to fight a lonely battle. It takes years to build up trust and friendship, but a mere second to destroy it. Within our friendships, it is important to practice emotional intelligence. We ought to display good emotional intelligence skills, as it will allow us to manage our relationships more effectively. The notion of emotional intelligence originated as the missing link in terms of success and effectiveness in life. Developing a high emotional intelligence would help us better handle social and professional situations. 

Looking back, how does my story show the importance of having emotional intelligence? 

Both Shure and I practiced self-awareness and self-regulation. We understood what was going on in our heads and heart. We were able to control our emotions, and in turn, our actions and words. Instead of wallowing in misery, we confronted our emotions face to face. We accepted the pain, and dealt with it well. On my part, I could have harboured anger and bitterness at her. I could have took revenge on Shure by ignoring her, destroying the friendship in turn. The guilt would have followed her for a lifetime. On the other hand, Shure displayed high emotional intelligence by being honest with her emotions. She did not allow fear to control her, but instead she faced it squarely in the face by apologising to me. 

We should always practice good emotional intelligence skills. It has played an important role in maintaining good relations with my friends and family members. It has also helped in mending and restoring broken friendships. I am sure it will be of good use in my workplace in future. 

Lastly, we should not resort to escapism to forget about our pain. A part of developing good emotional intelligence is by learning how to deal with our negative emotions. Do not resist the tears, but instead let it be an opportunity for you to become a better person. Learning how to be joyful through the tears is what makes someone beautiful. 

Sorry for all the nagging. But here is my question for everybody:  Personally, I feel that practising emotional intelligence skills by being honest with our feelings is the most important key in resolving an interpersonal conflict. To my friends, what do you think are the other acts that display emotional intelligence? For example, showing patience and love to one another. Do share your valuable insights with me, thank you very much :D